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Writer's pictureBelena

Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Erodes Self-Worth and Identity

  • The narcissistic abuse cycle I endured from childhood left my mind shattered and fragmented in this battle of extremes.

  • The narcissistic abuse cycle erodes self-worth and identity through conflicting demands. This causes a relentless cycle of emotional chaos and psychological battles within the victim. The long-term repeated exposure to the narcissistic abuse cycle results in the curated identity of striving subservience.


Never perfect : Too flawed

Never enough : Too inadequate

Never worthy : Too undeserving

Never loveable : Too detestable


Too dependent : Too independent Too fat : Too thin

Too transparent : Too vague Too free-spirited : Too dutiful

Too conservative : Too revealing Too pessimistic : Too optimistic

Too young : Too old Too unreliable : Too dependable

Too happy : Too sad Too scrutinizing : Too trusting

Too loud : Too quiet Too imaginative : Too myopic

Too stable : Too poor Too somber : Too smiley

Too pretty : Too natural Too stubborn : Too flexible

Too talkative : Too anti-social Too judgmental : Too impartial

Too robotic : Too emotional Too guarded : Too vulnerable

Too introverted : Too gregarious Too impatient : Too patient

Too confident : Too meek Too rational : Too silly

Too finicky : Too haphazard Too adventurous : Too timid

Too boyish : Too girly Too active : Too lazy

Too curvy : Too unshapely Too compassionate : Too insensitive

Too needy : Too self-sufficient Too intelligent : Too naive

Too vulgar : Too prudish Too giving : Too selfish

Too slapdash : Too conscientious Too logical : Too fantastical

Too kind : Too inconsiderate Too intense : Too chill

Too organized : Too messy Too traditional : Too open-minded


Two sides of the fence and neither is more green is the perfect example of living under the narcissistic abuse cycle
Narcissistic abuse cycle is like fence hopping

I try so hard, but I'm still...bad

No matter what I do it's never right

Everything is always my fault

Everyone hates me, and I can't blame them

Just look at the list

There's no hope for someone as flawed as me

Please, I'm warning you

It's best to stay away from the likes of me

Can't you see all I'll do is cause you pain

It's all I ever do is fuck things up

Love, hell, not even like is meant for me


Never perfect : Too flawed

Never enough : Too inadequate

Never worthy : Too undeserving

Never loveable : Too detestable




I am so glad I didn't give up, and I kept trying to understand how to break free and unravel the lies of my narcissistic abusers! The road of recovery was not easy nor quick. For those who grew up with narcissistic parents, like me, the lies, emotional and mental trauma begins at birth. You're raised in a state of dysregulation, your nervous system and thought patterns are constantly in a state of hyper-vigilance to be attune to their fluctuating expectations, but no matter what you do, you'll never be correct. Narcissistic abuse erodes self-worth and identity through conflicting demands. The narcissistic abuse cycle causes relentless emotional chaos and psychological battles within the victim. The long-term repeated exposure results in the curated identity of striving subservience. Once in a while, they reward you with getting close to getting something "correct. Rest assured, with the narcissistic abuse cycle there will always be a "but" that tears you right back down to that place of not being "good enough". The manipulative "art" of minimization and passive-aggressive and backhanded compliments corrupt even your fractions of hope.


BUT, and I mean a massive BUT! I'm here to tell you that true, permanent recovery is absolutely possible from the narcissistic abuse cycle. It requires dedication, determination, and facing some very uncomfortable thoughts, behaviors and emotions - the unraveling, undoing of these can very much feel like you're losing your mind at times. And, in a way, you very much are losing your mind because you're undoing the lies you were programmed to believe as your identity. The longer your exposure and the younger your exposure to the narcissistic abuse cycle begins, the longer the recovery because the grooming into a narcissist puppet has been conditioned, trained, brainwashed into the core operating system of your mind.


Breaking free from the narcissistic abuse cycle is a courageous step towards self-empowerment and healing. Mentoring sessions provide personalized support and strategies tailored to your unique situation. Reach out by filling out the contact form, and let's reclaim your personal power, unlock your limitless potential, and navigate the path of recovery together. You are absolutely worth it, deserving, and most of all you are not only loveable, you have a community that is here waiting to love you!


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